the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
