therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
