this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
