i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
