I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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