Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
