he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
