Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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