yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
