I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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