i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
