State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
