If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize