Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
