we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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