1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
