the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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