Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize