I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
