Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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