I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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