the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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