she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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