I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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