my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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