i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
