Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
