Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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