Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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