the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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