bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
