Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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