Who did Billy Mays play for?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
