Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
