so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
