I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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