I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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