she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My life is pants optional.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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