I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
