at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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