Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
