Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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