when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
