They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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