I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
