she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
