I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
