And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
