i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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