Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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