My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
