this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
