Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
