Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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