would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
