I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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