you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
