Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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